School's Out For Summer...Wait It's Just April

Well I don’t know who is telling my kids that school officially is home based the rest of the school year, but it sure isn’t going to be me. Ok it will be me but I just don’t wanna. Shep isn’t going to know what on earth I’m talking about. Aslan will say “YAY” but then in a week after he’s had time to think about it, he will tell us his true feelings, and then Cambric will cry...a lot. I just don’t wanna.

I’m gonna be real honest. For the most part of this lockdown I’ve been thinking about how good this has been for ME. I needed this. I’ve struggled this past year feeling like I was giving 110% of myself to my students every day and coming home to my personal kids and have nothing left to give them. And we’ve faced some big things as parents this year that left me feeling completely drained and absolutely like a failure. So this has been my moment. This lockdown has given me the time to invest more and give my boys all they need....

Jokes on me because I’m not all they need. And while that’s a tough pill to swallow, it’s true. For the most part we are their everything but it's just not entirely true in my opinion. They need social interaction desperately that’s not over a computer. They need the routine/structure that school gave them. They need to expend their energy quite a bit more with things like swinging from monkey bars, soccer practice, basketball games, playing tag with their friends, P.E., etc.

I watch as one of my boys sits on Zoom and tells his teacher over and over again throughout the 30 minutes how much he misses her and it kills me. He has had a few break downs through this because this just can’t be the end of his year he says. I watch another boy continue to test the boundaries of things we’ve never seen before with him and it makes me oh so worried about what life will be like when we do get to go back to school. We have made LARGE leaps as a family since a hard time last fall and I’m so worried we are slipping backwards during this time.

Oh and then there’s the craziest of them all. Guys. I swear Shep is the smartest kid ever. Like street smart. He craves attention and if you don’t give it during the time he needs it, you better just watch out. It could be something as simple as him not wanting a thing to do with you until you start your classroom zoom meeting and he decides that is the moment he needs to poop. Can he go to the other parent in the house? Well heck no.Why would he do that? Mom is the one on Zoom. So like on Monday I had to run and sit Shep on the potty while my class was beginning and then run 10 feet back over to say hi to my students and ask how they were doing. All this while he is just a-grunting and a-groaning and telling me “IT’S STUCK!” So there I am with 27 people in a meeting and I’m behind the camera having to use calming words while I help him spread his cheeks a bit. “It’s ok! You got this! You’re almost there. It’s coming.” Like what am I birthing a baby or something? Then I run back to check on my students and he remembers for the first time ever to flush the toilet. He also chose that moment to make up for all the other times he’s never flushed. Or then there was Wednesday when I was trying to get the boys started on their schoolwork and he yelled that he wanted paper to draw on. I told him he would have to wait just a second. Well since waiting is not his forte, he took a sharpie to my dining table. He was so proud...

While lately I am a different person able to handle these tough times better than I would have thought, it hurts my heart to see my boys struggling. I for sure feel like I’m failing in that department. I read a post from a teacher today about how us teachers do not want parents to worry about their kids falling behind right now. We are pretty awesome and come August we are going to work our booties off to get your kiddo where they need to be. All kids are in the same boat right now. We get it. But what we can’t fix is the social-emotional trauma that hinders the brain from learning. It's painfully true. I sure do wish that was our superpower though.

So we’ve been talking a lot this past week about ways we can help our boys and their emotions. There’s new ones popping up and old ones we have worked through sneaking back in, and I’m desperate to help my boys weather this storm. One thing we talked about last week is what we thought our kiddo’s love languages were. Hands down Cambric is words of affirmation. He craves the approval of others...which is not the greatest sometimes. Quality time is a close 2nd for him. Aslan is quality time with physical touch next. He is my little leech. He’s happy if a thigh is just touching a thigh. And then seeing as Shep is three, I think he’s currently all 5 love languages. He wants it all!!! HAHA Our hope is to pay attention to these more often to make sure they are getting what they need during this crazy time.

We are talking through a heck of a lot of feelings. Their feelings. Our feelings. How other’s outside our homes may be feeling. We get outside as much as possible. *Bring on the 80 degree weather. I got an inflatable slide waiting to get busted!* We snuggle lots. We read lots. We fight lots….and say I’m sorry lots. Daily we learn about forgiveness and a lot of times it has to do with us asking for their forgiveness for losing our cool. We pay attention to how the kids are responding to each other. Cambric earlier lost his mind on Aslan and Troy went in. He sat him down and said “You know what, I lost my cool earlier with you and that was not ok. I showed you that it was ok to yell at your brother. Let’s talk about how we both should have handled our situations…” He learned that talk from me. HAHA We are realizing we are going to fail a lot through this (and parenting as a whole) but we are trying to stay vigilant and correct our wrongs in the moment.

Ok so I wrote all that and it was like God nudged me and said “you feel like you’re failing but look at how much you are doing for your boys because you love them and you want what’s best for them. You’re doing good mama.” YOU are doing good mama! We got this! We are all going to come out of this stronger than ever. Slightly crazier, but stronger. I'm believing it. Turn off the news if you need to. Stop looking up statistics that cause you anxiety. Go take a nap with your kiddo (I AM). Talk about your feelings with one another. Go outside and get fresh air...but take a stroller because your 3 year old will want you to carry him as soon as you are on the other side of the neighborhood. Maybe school 5 days a week is too much for y’all. It is for our family, so we only do school 3-4 days a week. I realized I was getting easily angered on Mondays since I’m so busy, so Monday is just mama work day. We still get in the work that needs to be done for the week, but we make it work for our family.

I am praying for you and me, that God will equip us to be what they need. Their mama, teacher, coach, play therapist, counselor, nurse, chef, housekeeper...no I take that last one back. They can clean. :) So pretty much everything we already were to them, but just a little bit more right now. We were made to do hard things...with HIM! Don’t forget that He is here ready to help us through this time. We weren’t promised an easier life because of our relationship with Jesus, but when we do go through those hard times (AKA: NOW) He is our source of strength, peace, and hope. What a great time to teach our kiddos this lesson.

I would love to hear from some of you how your little ones are handling all this and what you are doing to help their big feelings/emotions. Let’s help each other out.

Until the next tale...